Author
John Nguyen
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Recently, I was at a restaurant and getting ready to order. I have lactose intolerance, so I got to make sure that cheese is not part of the meal. I was practicing what to say to the waiter who is quickly arriving to the table. “The burrito with no cheese. The burrito with no cheese. The burrito with no cheese.” All of a sudden, the fated question is asked, “what would you like?” I answer “the burrito.” Waiter takes my order and leaves. But wait, I forgot to say what I did not want on the burrito! And now things are awkward. Because of social anxiety, I ask myself, “Do I ask the waiter to correct my order? Or do I just let it happen? The cheese is removable right? It’s not melted cheese inside burrito, right? Just the outside of the burrito is easy to remove. Surely, it would be too rude of me to confuse the waiter.” Finally, I just give up and let myself take the cheesy penalty. Food arrives, and well, the inside of the burrito has the cheese mixed and melted in. I did not want this, but it was my fault for not saying the right thing.
Social Anxiety Disasters
Has something like this ever happened to you? Social anxiety can be quite annoying. Anxiety is something that should be your brain protecting you by saying “Hey, something isn’t right here,” but for some of us, that protection is a bit too much. The situation above is a common example of social anxiety. I certainly had it for as long as I can remember. In fact, a Drive Thru used to be incredibly difficult for me because I feared saying the wrong thing, especially if there was a car behind me waiting for me to order. The frustration of social anxiety causes me to avoid interactions with people, which prevents me from meeting new acquaintances, forming new bonds, or even going out to eat. I slowly got better at speaking, but the issue is always still there, haunting in the back like a possession waiting to happen. But what can I do about it?
Practice, Practice, Practice
Fortunately, there are a couple ways to perform better in social situations. Talking to yourself in front of a mirror is a great way to practice. At first, even that can be difficult, despite no one being around. Sometimes having someone stare at you is the cause of the anxiety, even if it is yourself. But once you start to talk, you gradually remove the awkwardness that prevents you from projecting your voice. Afterwards, add a stuffed animal beside you and try to talk to them. It might seem weird, but no one is watching you. Create a conversation amongst yourself and your plush friends and then you’ll be able to take it to the next step with a real person, like in one of our peer support groups.
Technology is Accessibility
Another easier way to talk with someone is through technology. Texting, as well as Messenger apps, can be much more beneficial for some people. For me, I am able to write down my thought processes a lot more smoothly compared to when I am attempting to speak. There’s also the benefit of being able to read what is typed, reducing the overall number of errors before the message is sent. Work your way up with conversations with groups online. The anonymity of the internet can protect you if you mess up.
Conclusion
Social anxiety is not something you can fully get rid of, since the primary function is to be a defense mechanism, but broadening your horizons can help combat this obnoxious feeling. It may take some practice, and it may take some time, but you will surely overcome that obstacle.
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